The Juggling Act

Everyday is a struggle in this new journey for me called motherhood. I have two kids under the age of three (not twins) and I struggle to make sure I give them both equal time.

My sixteen month old son was breastfed so a lot of my time was dedicated to feeding him. I occasionally wondered if my two and a half year old feels slighted and like he's not as equally important. I want them both to know they’re equally loved and one isn’t any better than the other.

I thought having kids very close in age would be great for social development. I never thought about the repercussions of not making sure my time is close to being evenly divided. 

Eventually I wound up making sure that when my youngest son was asleep I had "cuddle time" with my oldest son.

That Lazy Awkward Friend

I recently moved to a new state and by recently I mean a year ago. Before then all the friends I have/had I either met in school or at work. Now as a new SAHM I knew finding friends would be slightly a challenge for me. I'm lazy and I'm awkward. I'm lazy meaning my main focus right now is my kids so I don't really text or call too many people. I'm awkward meaning I'm not very good a being a "normal" adult.

I made a friend a few months ago just by chance. I was taking my kids on a stroll around the neighborhood when my next door neighbor stopped me. Once we started chatting we realized we had a lot in common and instantly hit it off. We both moved into the same community around the same time. We both have two children and we both are SAHMs. I also learned she moved from NY. I moved from SC but I'm originally from NY. We made plans to hangout just a few days later. We have since hung out multiple times and our husbands and children have become very familiar with each other.

I still have this friend but since I'm lazy and awkward we haven't been hanging out as much as we use to. There is a lot to blame for this in addition to me being lazy and awkward. One of my sons became very ill for awhile so I was forced to stay in the house for a few weeks. We both recently moved out of our rentals and purchased homes about 10 minutes from one another. We also both have been on vacations at different times.

Lately she's been wanting for us to come over to her house. I don't have a problem with that with the exception of I really love being in my own home. I have two very rowdy, active boys and my house is decorated and styled with them in mind. I don't have to worry about them breaking anything that is hard or costly to replace. My friend's house is more hip, trendy, and stylish with a lot of things that I know my sons will break. Her girls (5 and 2) are content with just playing in their rooms with their toys. When my boys are in a place that is not their own they can only be entertained by toys for 10 minutes at a time. After that they want to explore and touch anything and everything around them. I've found myself giving her excuses as to why I can't come over but I know that will only be accepted a few times before she notices something is going on. I guess the simple solution would be to invite her over to my house but that leads me back to my original problem of me just being really lazy.

My boys can wear me down and sometimes (when I say sometimes I mean for weeks at a time) I'd just prefer to be alone. For people that are social butterflies it's hard for them to understand that.