Hands off

I've tweeted, snapped, and posted on IG about this particular topic but it still happens so why not blog about it too?

Why can't people keep their hands to themselves? When did it become acceptable for total strangers to come up to your children and touch them on their hands and face? The biggest offenders are older women who more than likely have children of their own. We all know that germs can pose a serious threat for a young child. The fastest way for them to get sick is via their hands and face. So why are strangers touching people's children without regard for this?

This happens to me and my children often. We can be out in public just minding our own business when out of nowhere here comes some random stranger that we don't know approaching us. It starts off with a nice compliment about my children's looks and then they follow that up with either touching my child's hand or caressing their check. I've even had an older woman or two try to kiss my children. 

When I correct this behavior by simply asking them not to touch my children I get a look of shock, disbelief, and like I offended them. How dare I ask them, total stranger not to physically touch my child?

This should go without saying but if you don't know someone you don't touch them in any form or fashion if they did not ask or invite you to. I'm not sure if this is a generational thing, gender, or race/cultural thing. What I have noticed is almost every single time it's the same type of person, a white female between the ages of 40-70. I don't mind the compliments but I do mind the touching. My kids are not in daycare so they are not exposed to as many germs as your average child would be so their immune systems are also not as strong as some of those other kids.

If you've have kids of your own or have been around very young kids you know that they love to put their hands in their mouths and their face is a gateway for germs. If I don't know you then I don't know how you are when it comes to your personal hygiene habits so all I have is personal interactions with other people to base how clean you might be. From working in an accounting department for many years with many different women my experience with hygiene isn't a great one. I've seen one too many women not wash their hands after using the shared restroom. One too many women who sneeze or cough all in their hands and proceed to touch every thing and one around them.

Aside from the germs you are a stranger. Me nor my children know you. Learn personal boundaries! Since you are a stranger I don't know if you just want to say hi or snatch and run. When it comes to my children everyone from the two year old to the 82 year old is a possible threat to my child. Don't tell me a two year old is not a threat when there are two year old kids out here biting, hitting, scratching, and exposing germs/illness to other kids.

The point of this post is, though your intentions might be good if you don't know a person stick with just a compliment and keep your hands off other people's children. 

What's yours is mine

Yesterday after overhearing a conversation that was happening on my phone I thought about something that I think about quite often, entitlement. I hear, see, and read more and more examples of this everyday. It has me wondering do people realize how entitled they have become and why do they feel this way?

I was scrolling through IG one day and came across a post on a celebrity gossip blog about a rapper's mom and brother who were complaining that he had cut the mom off financially. After reading the article I learned that the rapper was giving the mother on avg 10k a month and she was angry because he stopped and refused to give her any more. His brother, whom I'm going to assume was reaping the benefits via his mother also decided to chime in saying how displeased he was with his brother for not taking care of their mother especially since he appears to be living a very lavish life according to his social media accounts. The rapper's response to this was, after giving his mom 10k a month for years he finally decided to cut her off because she was spending the money on drugs and alcohol. After reading all of this I then went to my favorite part of IG, the comments. I seen everything from "how dare he cut her off for abusing drugs and alcohol when he does the same thing" to "what type of person cuts off their own mother?". These are my thoughts on the subject. 

Why is he "required" to take care of his mother? If you're having children in hopes that one of them will "make it big" and someday take care of you then maybe you don't need to be having children. The purpose of a child isn't so you can retire early. Sure if you do a decent job as a parent when your child reaches adulthood they might help you out financially if you get in a jam but again they are not required to do so. You made the decision to have a child and with that decision you know going into this there will be a lot of financial responsibility and hardships on you and that is not your child's burden or debt for the rest of their life.

How do you even know his mother raised him or was involved in his life? Lets say this woman only gave birth to him and he was raised by another family member, friend's parents, or "the streets" raised him. Is he required to take care of her for the rest of his life/her life just because she gave birth to him? Just because you are related to someone that doesn't give you entitlement to their success and everything that comes along with it. Stop claiming things that don't belong to you. If someone wants to share their success with you that's their choice to do so. Be grateful and appreciative because they don't have to.

Lastly, he was giving her 10k a month for many years (I'm sure sometimes it exceed that amount and sometimes it was less) so what did she do with the money? I'm not sure what anyone else's financial situations are so I can only speak from my perspective (someone who grew up extremely poor and now manages to pay her bills on time and still has a little bit of play money) which is how could you squander a 100k annual gift? Let me say that again, a 100k annual gift. That is more than a lot of people make in a year at their 9 to 5. Lets say he only did this for 5 years that's still half a million dollars before taxes. I'm also going to assume she didn't grow up wealthy because if she did she wouldn't be looking for him to continue to support her financially.

To me this is your classic case of trying to "keep up with the Jones". This woman could have bought herself a house, a vehicle, started a savings, and spoke with a financial adviser to figure out how to turn this extra disposable cash in to a profitable steady income/investment. My guess is she had a different vision which included a very big mansion in LA on the beach, a car brand that she couldn't pronounce the name of and had to be on a waiting list to receive, and never ending shopping trips buying labels from designers that don't even want her in their clothes (these are all things I will probably spin off on in the future).

The comments on the post were mostly negative towards him, intended to shame him for not doing what he was "supposed" to do. There were very few commentators that seemed to realize that this man didn't totally abandon his mom but he did in fact give her money he just stopped. This brings me to my next thought, how much is enough?

Let's say I made 2 million dollars after taxes does that mean everyone in my family just made two million dollars? No, okay so then what is acceptable? I have a mother and father who are both are married to someone else and several surrogate parents that helped in raising me. I have several siblings (full, half, and step). How much should they receive? Grand parents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins. Do they all get a piece of the pie too? What about all my friends that have supported me and helped me out along the way? Where does the entitled giving stop? From what I see, hear, and read all these people all deserve some of your earnings. If someone was involved in your life you are required to include them because after all what's yours is mine right? 

I never understood this type of thinking and don't ever want to. My feelings are if someone gives you a monetary or material gift great but they are not required to. You being related to someone by birth does not require them to take care of you financially. You freely giving someone money or items under the guise of helping them out does not require that person to now pay it back ten fold. The only person anyone should be required to take care of in that way is a child or someone they willingly decided to legally be the financial guardian of.