I was recently reading a public post on a social media platform from a mother who posted a cute photo of her son with the caption stating he was being kicked out of daycare for being a biter. I scrolled down further to read the comments. I guess I should be shocked by what I read but I repeatedly shook my head at the responses from people. One person stated, “what do they expect you to do?” Another stated, “they kick kids out of daycare for anything and everything these days.” There was also, “well maybe he’s just defending himself”. Followed by a “like” from the original poster/mom. Then there was “that’s age appropriate”. A few more comments then the mom commented about how he/she does it out of “love”, followed by someone who said “I love it”. Then my favorite, he/she “is too adorable to be in trouble”.
Let’s look at these statements further...
“What do they expect you to do?” The daycare “expects” you to keep your toddler home until he/she learns that biting is unacceptable.
“They kick kids out of daycare for anything and everything these days.” I’m sure if your child was being repeatedly (her child did this to other children multiple times on multiple days and she had been asked to correct the behavior...she alluded to this in her post) bit at daycare by another child you would be asking the daycare what are they going to do to prevent this from happening again.
”Well maybe he was just defending himself.” I highly doubt this child was defending himself if he is biting multiple children & has been asked to stop several times.
“That’s age appropriate.” Just because something is age appropriate doesn’t mean it’s acceptable behavior. It’s age appropriate for my one and a half year old to throw food everywhere when he’s done eating but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s age appropriate for my three year old to be blunt & honest with everyone but it’s my job to teach him discretion.
He/she does it out of “love”. Again as a parent it’s your job to show your child the proper way to interact with other adults & children. If your child is showing “love” by biting then that behavior should be redirected with another form of showing love such as a hug. You should be teaching your child if the are harming/hurting another person that’s not a good way to show them you love them.
”He/she is too adorable to be in trouble.” A child’s looks should have no bearing on how they are disciplined. Adorable kids need to be kept in line too.
The common sentiment I get from reading different forms of social media is bad behavior is acceptable as long as it’s coming from someone attractive or related to you. If my child is hitting, biting, or any other violent/hurtful act towards another person and the behavior isn’t changing he should be kicked out of daycare. I’m pretty sure if any of these people’s child came home with a bite more than once they wouldn’t find it cute or age appropriate and they would be demanding an answer from the daycare. We have to stop excusing unacceptable behavior just because we know or are related to the purportrade.